So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
