just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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