The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
