all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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