508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
