i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
