so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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