I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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