He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
