If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize