I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize