She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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