there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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