I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
