Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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