Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize