The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
