How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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