How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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