Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
