dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
