Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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