Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
