Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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