your thong is hanging out like whoa
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize