So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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