So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize