So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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