I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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