I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
