The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
