I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
