Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
