so that wasnt chicken after all
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
