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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's only a little bit crosseyed.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.

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• (714): View more from California

  I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it

  (317): View more from Indiana

  is it necessary to steal the whole car?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear

  (540): View more from Virginia

  And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear

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