Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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