If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize