so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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