I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I did not marry a roomba.
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