But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
