but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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