When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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