Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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