I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
