I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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