is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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