it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize