This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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