I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
