I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
