dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
