i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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