Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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