the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
