There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
