..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
