Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
