maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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