My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize