did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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