so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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