so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
