Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
