Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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